He Called Me Out

It's finally Fall here and that means getting back into some sort of a routine.  We don't have much of one at 3 and 17 months but there are a couple of activities we do weekly and it's nice to be back into the swing of things.  Sort of.

I'm not a morning person.  That's kind of an understatement.  Well not kind of.  I just LOVE sleep so much.  I was created for sleep.  And crepes with nutella.

We started back at Bible Study Fellowship this Wednesday and I was determined to be on time.  I took my shower the night before so I would just have to jump out of bed, get the boys ready and go.  I always think I have more time than I do.  And I always think what I plan to do is going to take less time than it will.  And I'm always late.

So we got into the car about 10 minutes later than I had hoped.  The Little Guy was SO excited about going to church and playing with toys and having a snack and learning about Jesus.  He is really into helping to buckle his carseat buckles and usually I'm fine with that.  But he was taking forever.  And when I tried to help him he got fussy.  And I just reacted.  I gave him a little pop on his thigh and told him to stop.

And he cried.

I got in the front seat feeling horrible because here we were heading to bible study to learn about Jesus and I had just totally unjustly punished my child for trying to HELP!

And from the backseat he says, "Mama you need to be kind."

Shame.

So much shame.

But if I've learned anything as a parent it's that he is watching me.  And so I turned around (I hadn't started the car yet) and I grabbed his hand and I told him he was right.  And I told him I was sorry.  And I told him I loved him.

And you know what he said to me?

"Mama will you hold me hand?"

Forgiveness.  Kids do it best.  They are awesome at calling you out and awesome at forgiving you for messing up.

I'm determined this year to not punish my children for my lack of preparation.  They have no idea what time is.  They can not dress or feed themselves.  It's up to me to wake up or start things on time in order for us to get out the door and on time to church...a playdate...wherever.

So no more yelling hurry up.  No more frustration taken out on them.

I'm going to be kind!