Day 11-31 Days of Being New--Alone

I remember taking this picture over the summer and thinking how vast the ocean looked next to my tiny little guy.  He didn't seem phased.  Children are fortunate that way.  They are pretty go with the flow.  I can't decide if I want to be more like that or less like that.

I don't really want to go with the flow right now.  What I really want to do is rewind time a bit.  I want to go back and have one last chat on my friend porch.  One last play date at Puget Park.  One last Sunday to sing with the worship team.  One last...pretty much everything.

I feel stuck in this weird place of being grateful that God has provided such a spacious and beautiful home for us to live in and missing the view from my WA bedroom.  Grateful that we live so much closer to our families and desperate for a hug from any one of my dear friends that became my family.  Grateful that the Lord has always provided precious, precious friendships and in tears that I have to start that all over again.

One of my sweet friends from "home" before Tacoma became home told me once that it's ok to be upset.  Even if someone else wouldn't be upset about it.  It's ok to cry.  Even if someone else doesn't think it's worth crying about.  My life isn't about how I should feel it's about how I do feel.

Sometimes what you know to be true and what you feel are in opposition.

And tonight.  I feel alone.