Monday, August 11, 2014

All the Poor & Powerless

Lately I've been feeling a little lost.  Tired.  Frustrated.  Alone.

I think some of stems from knowing we are moving.  It's easy to start pulling back to protect your heart.  It's easy to believe the lies.  

Women believe a lot of lies.  Mamas in particular.  Obviously I'm including myself in that group.  I've heard enough and read enough to know that most Mamas as some point in time feel lost.  Lonely.  Broken.  Not good enough.

When I'm tired it's so easy to seem my job as a little hopeless.  No matter how hard I work to avoid it we seem to lose at least one box of Cheerios to the floor a week.  Our house is never as clean as I want it to be.  My kids are never as well behaved as I think they should be.  We don't do enough crafts.  We watch too much TV.  I feel exasperated...defeated...not good enough.

July was a hard month for me.  I'm not sure why.  I feel like the Lord was just saying over and over again....I AM enough for you.  And the devil was screaming in the other ear...Laura you are NOT enough.  You will never be enough.  A good enough mom.  A good enough wife.  A good enough business owner.  A good enough friend.  You will never ever be enough.

Day after day I felt like this message was being pounded into my head and a few Sunday's ago I went to church just broken.  

Until we sang.  And then the words of this song.  And the truth.  And the love of Jesus literally just washed over me.  I couldn't hold back my tears as I sang.  I just cried and cried.  And thanked Jesus for being enough for me.  Because with Him I AM enough.  I will never be the Mom or Wife or Sister or Daughter or Friend I want to be.  I'll never be perfect, but with Him I'll be enough.

All the poor and powerless
And all the lost and lonely
All the thieves will come confess
And know that You are holy
And know that You are holy

And all will sing out
And we will cry out

All the hearts who are content
And all who feel unworthy 
And all who hurt with nothing left

Will know that You are holy

And all will sing out
And we will cry out

Shout it
Go on scream it from the mountains
Go on and tell it to the masses
That He is God
We will sing out
And we will cry out

As a Mom I constantly hear or read about other Moms feeling unworthy.  Broken.  Like they have nothing left.  And I just want you to know that you are not alone.  There's a Mom out there that you admire and when it all comes down to it she feels broken...lost...even lonely at times.  There is a Mom that seems to have it all together that is falling apart at the seams.  And ultimately we ARE all lost...broken...poor...powerless.  

In John 15:5 Jesus tells us that apart from Him we can do nothing.  And I have to remind myself of that day after day after day.  You'd think that after 30 plus years of getting it wrong that I would wake up and say....I clearly can't do this day...but over and over I am always trying to do things my way.  

My prayer for myself is that when I would wake up I would say...I can NOT do this day alone.  Give me Jesus.  Give me Jesus ever morning.  Every afternoon.  Every temper tantrum.  Every dirty diaper.  Every box of spilled Cheerios.  Give me Jesus!

No matter how broken...or lost...or lonely...I will cry are HOLY God.  HOLY.  And that will be enough.

If you are feeling broken today please know you aren't alone!  I would love to talk to you or pray for you!  Just send me an email!


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