Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 22--The New Girl

Don't you love it when you are in church and you feel like the sermon was written specifically for you? It's just like the pastor knows exactly what your heart needed to hear.  And someone he manages to say it in a way that speaks to you directly without using your name.  I think it's magical.

I found a blogger that did this for me the other day.  And I've wrestled a little bit about whether to post about it.  There is something liberating about blogging because you are behind a computer screen.  However I'd be naive to think that friends and family don't read because I know they do.  So for me there is a certain vulnerability as well.

Kristen from We Are THAT Family posted about her thirteen year old daughter attending a pool party as the new girl.  Here's the link to For The New Girl In All Of Us.

I wanted to cry a little after I read the post.  My heart was just crying out....that's me.  That is me.  She doesn't even know me.  How could she write this post that is totally about me?

Because I hate being the new girl.  I cringe every time I have to go to a squadron potluck, a wives social or a women's event at church.  Sometimes when I go to MOPS, even though I sit at a table with some of my best friends I wonder if they are really glad to see me.  I wonder why I'm the one who calls an old friend to catch up.  Why no matter how confident I could be professionally, I seem to be so easily intimidated personally.

I wasn't one of the "popular" kids growing up.  I knew it and I was ok with it.  But somehow over the years I've become more unsure of who I am.  And I wonder now....why would other people like me if sometimes I don't like myself?

Here is the beautiful part of the story though.  The Bible makes it SO very clear that God loves us.  He sent His Son to DIE for us.  For me.  I can't imagine loving anyone so much that I would sacrifice one of my sweet babies.  But God did.

The Bible also says we are "fearfully and wonderfully made" and he "delights in us".  I KNOW what that is like.  Sometimes my face hurts at the end of the day because I've smiled at my boys all day long.  I delight in them.  They bring me joy, even when they are rotten.

I'm not saying that I'm going to waltz into every party from now on like a movie star.  But I am going to give myself a break.  I'm going to claim these promises for my life.  I'm going to work harder at getting to know people.  I'm going to smile at someone I've never seen before.  Who knows.....she may be the new girl too.

Linking with Shell today


Shell said...

Sounds like the perfect sermon!

I hate that new girl feeling. It makes me even more uncomfortable and then that just makes the situation worse.

I solved it with MOPS by being the coordinator- and then I was visible, everyone knew who I was, but I could busy myself with other things instead of having to worry about being part of a discussion group.

Wayne W Smith said...

You bring a very interesting inperspective to light.

Lauren Thomas said...

Oh I hate being the new girl too! I get so anxious when in that situation!
I'm a new follower from follow me wednesday!


Lacey_Renea said...

It's the BEST feeling when you feel like your pastor is talking directly to you with a personal story about you - even if he is addressing the entire congregation.

I'm awful at being the new girl too, but I've found that with practice, it gets better.

Lacey @ And They Call Me Mommy

hilljean said...

I'm off to go read that post but girl, you are not alone. I think we all struggle with the new girl syndrome, no matter how confident we may appear!

Masala Chica said...

No matter how much I grow up, or how much I have been through - I always have the new girl jitters - that same little insecurity that takes over me.

I read the blog that inspired you. My heart aches for that young girl. I wish I could hug her and her mom.


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